“My Help Comes From the Lord”

February 24, 2006

Well, as you may or may not have heard, I have stage 3 gastric cancer. And for a zillion reasons I am not the same person I used to be. I believe everything on earth happens for a reason and it’s all intended to bring praise to our creator. Some may say that cancer is evil and a curse, but when you see the work its doing in people’s lives like me, how could you possibly think anything else but of God’s great love for his children to teach them the valuable lessons anyone can ever receive. I consider myself so blessed that He’s given me more days to live. But it’s even more a blessing to go through lessons of utter dependency upon the only one who can do a great work.

Psalm 121:1-2 “ I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” 

Praise be his holy name.

Thoughts:

I first read this entry as a junior in high school, and the first thought I had was “wow this guy was so incredible. How can one be so strong when his body is so weak?” Looking back on this entry now at 21 years old, I’ve come to realize that God allowed my Dad to be in a state of physical weakness so he would surrender himself, submit his desires, and strengthen his heart for a greater purpose than he originally imagined. Is this something I desire? Well the good Christian kid answer is yes…. But if I really dig deep into my heart, especially in moments of tribulation, it’s so difficult to see God’s light amidst my darkness. Hey what can I say…who enjoys suffering? I assume very few of us. However, I do know for sure that weakness can lead to surrender, and surrender can lead to a deeper, God-centered strength.

Lord, I pray that you would place in our heart the desire to be tested and tried again and again… until our souls learn to rejoice in suffering for Your name’s sake. Shape us through our storms. Allow us to sense Your nearness through our weakness.